But It's So Different When They're Your Own!!

Today's Dear Abby trainwreck could have been me, had I ever been stupid enough to have children.

( Clicky )

The first question that came to my mind was: Why the devil didn't she have an abortion, especially if her husband was gone for seven months? He wouldn't even have had to know she was pregnant.

It's very possible this woman is in the grip of post-partum depression, which is even more reason to put the child up for adoption, before she shakes her to death. To my mind, this should raise the possibility that mothering is not an ingrained but rather a learned behavior, and some women are simply not hardwired for it. (Like me.) It's far kinder, and more responsible, to recognize this from the get-go. This child certainly will, when she gets old enough.

But  "you'll feel differently after you have the baby," goes the hoary old tale. Nonsense. This idea of forcing women into 'mother' mode, just because their bodies fulfilled a function any stray cat can do, is extremely detrimental to women. Therefore, instead of asking 'what's wrong with me?' this person should assume that nothing is wrong with her...she's not cut out to be a mother, and she should live up to that fact. If this means telling the controlling husband, "You wanted this kid so much, you can have her," and walking out, so be it.

But It's So Different When They're Your Own!!

Today's Dear Abby trainwreck could have been me, had I ever been stupid enough to have children.

( Clicky )

The first question that came to my mind was: Why the devil didn't she have an abortion, especially if her husband was gone for seven months? He wouldn't even have had to know she was pregnant.

It's very possible this woman is in the grip of post-partum depression, which is even more reason to put the child up for adoption, before she shakes her to death. To my mind, this should raise the possibility that mothering is not an ingrained but rather a learned behavior, and some women are simply not hardwired for it. (Like me.) It's far kinder, and more responsible, to recognize this from the get-go. This child certainly will, when she gets old enough.

But  "you'll feel differently after you have the baby," goes the hoary old tale. Nonsense. This idea of forcing women into 'mother' mode, just because their bodies fulfilled a function any stray cat can do, is extremely detrimental to women. Therefore, instead of asking 'what's wrong with me?' this person should assume that nothing is wrong with her...she's not cut out to be a mother, and she should live up to that fact. If this means telling the controlling husband, "You wanted this kid so much, you can have her," and walking out, so be it.